The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
