What a fucking waste of an outfit
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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