i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
