in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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