oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
