Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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