he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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