So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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