what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
