be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
