I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
