Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
