Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
