then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
