Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
