what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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