I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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