so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize