dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It's just like the Real World with babies
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
