Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize