it hurts more in the daytime
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize