so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
