i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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