i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
