This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
