i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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