insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
