i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize