You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
