Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
