Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
