"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
we have officially lost it.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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