i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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