At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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