He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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