Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The struggles of a small town man whore
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
