And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
