i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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