I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
