Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
