she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
