I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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