My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
