I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I should be sponsored by Trojan
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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