my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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