hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
