Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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