It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
