You work out of a Hotel?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
