Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
