he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
