I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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