They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize