I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
