so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
