So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
