There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
