omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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