I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
