Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Randomize
