remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
