I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
