I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
