his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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