he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
