I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Randomize
