hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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