I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
