last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
