he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
