READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
