unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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