i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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